Happy 牛 year

Laughter the best medicine, if that didn't work, try RUNNING!

Running & Walking Jokes

Two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 75 yards up the trail. The bear spies them and begins running toward them at a full gallop. One hiker drops his backpack, sits down, throws off his boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. The other hiker says: "What are you doing? You will never outrun that bear!". The first hiker replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear..."

Michael Johnson, the Olympic gold medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the door, the bouncer turned to him and said: "Sorry, mate, you can't come in here — no denim." Michael was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson." "Then it won't take you long to run home and change, will it?" replied the bouncer.

Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?" I replied: "Do you want to know?" and I dropped out.

We work out too much. We waste time. A friend of mine runs marathons. He always talks about this "runner's high." But he has to go 26 miles for it. That's why I smoke and drink. I get the same feeling from a flight of stairs.

A runner asks his wife: "What do you love most about me? My tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your enormous sense of humor."

One man's hobby was running, he spent all his weekends on the park trails, paying no attention to weather. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went to the park as usual. It was still dark, cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "What terrible weather today honey," he said to her. "Yes," she replied "but my idiot husband still went running!"


A blonde goes out for a run. She comes to a river and cannot see a bridge anywhere nearby. She spots another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoohoo doll!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You're already on the other side!"

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• You know it is time to resume running when...
  • You try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.
  • Your children look through your wedding album and want to know who mom's first husband was.
  • You get winded just saying the words "10 kilometer run".
  • You come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.
  • You analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.
  • You step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you are alone".

CREDITS
http://www.runtheplanet.com/community/humor/jokes.asp

Run The Planet thanks Jean-Louis Laurent and Rick for their precious cooperation.